This castle, which you can rent for a luxury break, was the winner of a TV show entitled, I Own Britain’s Best Home. Owners, Terry George, and Michael Rothwell spent four years doing the place up until it spanks the butt of any competition.

In the old days, castles had moats but these days you are more likely to find busloads of schoolchildren or hot tubs – thankfully, Carr Hall Castle is the latter type. Outside there is a hot tub and swimming pool and comfy garden furniture. Beyond the pool are green lawns and a deer park. Inside the castle, it is a mixture of aristocratic grandeur, teapot tradition, and modern opulence.

Have your green tea and drink it too in front of the widescreen TV. Check out the indoor swimming pool and the equipped ripped gym. Bedrooms are decorated to fulfill your four-post fantasies. It is truly a self-catering gem, nay a masterpiece, like living in a Mr Kipling cake.